When I work with parents I always ask how often their child cries sad tears. And almost always they look off into the distance and admit they don’t recall or admit it’s a rare occurrence. Kids get really difficult to parent when they don’t express their sadness regularly.
So a natural question I get is, how do I help my child cry?
Read MoreI’ll admit, that’s a bit of a clickbait title. And yet, I mean it. Because most of the parents I work with have been in this scenario:
You have curated a pretty-near-perfect day
Your child has had a proper night's rest
You’ve provided regular balanced meals and snacks
You’ve engaged in quality 1:1 time and play
You’ve offered age-appropriate choices
You’ve ensured your child has had adequate movement and outside time
And yet…
Read MoreI remember the first time I heard the term ‘conscious parent’
What is that? Is it good or bad?
I knew helicopter parenting was bad, along with snowplow parenting.
Attachment parenting was…very polarizing.
Gentle parenting was the new kid in town, vague but cool.
Fast forward 7 years and I’m well versed in the merits and pitfalls of all the popular parenting approaches. And there are a lot.
Now I’ve become highly skeptical of approaches and wary of anything labelled parenting advice in general. While their books, blogs, podcasts and social media accounts feel like every answer you’ve been waiting for - I’d argue their patented approach often does more harm than good.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged in a world where it seems everyone has this parenting thing figured out, have a read
Read MoreMonday I came down with a cold. My husband is in the thick of a very challenging season at work. My 4-year-old has been so full of anger the past month it’s been like parenting a ticking time bomb. My seven-year-olds new thing is complaining about everything. The sun hasn’t shone in 6 days. There are toys and paper and crumbs everywhere. I lost my temper again this morning. My sinuses are pounding. I feel like a fraud.
It’s Wednesday and I have run out of silver linings.
And I know I’m not alone and yet it feels so isolating. It’s a heavy weight on our shoulders knowing there is no hero riding in to save the day. It’s just us. And we are tired.
*sigh*
So I’m writing this for me and for every parent out there: how to be a parent when things are really really really hard.
Read MoreIn our 7 years of parenting, reading books as part of our bedtime routine has been undeniable. From my work and conversations with friends, I know this is true for most parents. This is not the result of savvy PR; reading books has earned its place by being the perfect bedtime ritual based solely on its merits. Sure, parents are often told the importance of reading for literacy, vocabulary and instilling a love of reading, but these benefits have nothing to do with the lasting popularity and success of this bedtime tradition.
Read MoreSeveral months in, I had hoped my JKer would have been more…settled. Pulling her home in the wagon with a snack had helped - in that it delayed the explosion of feelings until we were off school property and safely within the confines of home. How could I make this challenging time with both my kids more manageable, I pondered. Maybe I could try setting up an activity on the table for when they arrive home? Maybe I should check in with her teachers? Maybe she needs more movement - what physical play could we do?...
My reverie was broken by the beep as I was summoned to perform the final and most dramatic step of the Instant Pot cooking process. I switched the valve from sealing to venting and stood back and marvelled at the loud eruption of steam - not unlike my 4-year-old at 3:30 PM
The other day I found myself crying over and over during a reality baking show.
The past week my 6-year-old has been quite prickly. She’s picking fights with her sister. She’s been less cooperative and easily combative. Getting ready for bed, getting ready for school or leaving the house anytime, has become quite fraught. I’ve been doing ‘all the things’ reducing separation, quality playtime, welcoming feelings, holding boundaries, controlling the environment etc. But not much has changed.
Read MoreYou’re handed your baby and BAM - instant transformation. Some mysterious combination of instincts and hormones suddenly bestows you with all the knowledge and skills needed to be a mother. That’s it. There is just ‘before you were a mother’ and ‘mother’. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never changed a diaper, know nothing about breastfeeding or never held a baby before
Read MoreThree years ago, my daughter moved out of our crib and our bedtime routine turned upside down. Suddenly she needed me specifically to lie down with her until she fell asleep. While I was happy to do this, I also had a baby in need of my attention and both my husband and I wanted to more flexibility with our evening.
Read More“We watched no TV today!” I’d announce to my husband as if waiting for a gold star. It certainly felt like a massive accomplishment, 12 hours of parenting 2 kids under 4 in the middle of winter. But there was no gold star, just my own sense of achievement or sometimes my own sense of utter exhaustion and simmering resentment as my needs we relegated to the bottom of the list yet again.
Screentime is an excellent illustration of the modern parenting dilemma. It comes down to this equation:
Tired parents in need of support
A lifetime's worth of highly captivating and addictive children’s entertainment
Constant reminders of the dangers of screentime
It’s a lose/lose, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
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