Something always felt off about this industry and I could never quite put my finger on it. I suppose I didn’t want to see it. Because I wanted to believe, like most, that if I followed all the tips and hacks shared in perfectly curated videos that I’d do it! That I’d be the calm, got it together mom who was the perfect blend of playful and firm, who didn’t need any help, who meal planned but was also spontaneous, who worked but not too much, with well behaved kids who ate vegetables and never watched tv and always said please and thank you, who were wild and creative but also obedient (but not too obedient) and of course slept through the night.
Many days parenting will strain your nervous system to the absolute edge. Two small children crying at the same time, dirty dishes as far as the eye can see, dinner that needs to be made and jobs with unending demands. Waiting for a proper break is just not an option. Amidst this chaos, I’ve found little moments of spaciousness when I find myself breathing deeper and feeling softer. These are 3 ways I soothe my nervous system day to day.
Growing up in the country, at 13 I was babysitting for all the neighbourhood families. I changed diapers, prepared bottles, handled bedtimes and even wrangled a family of 7! My husband, as a teen, babysat for over a dozen families on his street in north Toronto.
Today, many parents confess no one has ever cared for their children, except for maybe Grandma. It’s not uncommon to hear parents haven’t had a child-free night out in years!
Do you ever wish for a crystal ball? Some way of knowing all your efforts to raise a kind and responsible human being will pay off?
Many parents today are thoughtful and intentional about parenting. We care about things like emotional intelligence and self-regulation. We’ve swapped timeouts for time-ins. We listen to podcasts and read books.
But then your 3-year-old kicks you in the shin when it’s time to leave the park and shouts for all to hear, “You’re a stupid face!”
In those moments it’s impossible not to think, “Ummm, I’m not sure this is working?”
While I don’t have a crystal ball I do have some promising signs to watch for and reassure yourself you are indeed on the right track (tantrums and all)!
While there has been no shortage of bad news as we’ve navigated the pandemic, the war in Ukraine brings a new challenging world event to handle with our kids.
I’ve compiled some resources on how you may wish to navigate this topic. But the short answer is, with children under 8, you don’t need to bring the issue to their attention. If it does come up, we want to keep it simple and focus on helping them feel heard and safe.
With the rise of the gentle/peaceful/conscious/responsive parenting approaches, it can easily feel like:
Calm parent = good parent
Frustrated parent = bad parent
It doesn’t matter if your three-year-old just called you stupid and threw a yogurt cup at the wall - you handle it like a serene goddess, never raising your voice, never dishing out punishments, always appearing warm and loving.
It’s the holiday season and with some pandemic restrictions lifting, we are seeing the return of some events and gatherings - which is exciting but also a new experience for a lot of young families to navigate. We would all like to have a little fun, stay safe and hopefully not have too many public meltdowns (kids or parents ;)
I covered a few concepts that have the potential to shift your holidays from frazzled to feel-good.
Like a lot of Moms, a big reason for choosing self-employment was the flexibility and the opportunity to spend more time with my kids day to day. It certainly wasn’t for the generous salary and benefits package.
The Fall held promise, my 5 year old was starting in person SK and we were looking for part time childcare for my 3 year old. I was salivating at the prospect of so much time alone in my home and all the projects, courses, content and new clients filling my schedule.
A quick search on Indigo tells me there are over 10951 RESULTS FOR "PARENTING".
Let that sink in.
Because we KNOW all those books are not saying the same thing. Many of these books will in fact contradict each other. Just selecting a book can be an anxiety provoking process!
That being said - a great book can bolster our intuition, provide fresh insight and increase our confidence. If you’re not sure where to start the following books are the ones I love and recommend most often!
