How to Handle Difficult Topics with Your Kids

While there has been no shortage of bad news as we’ve navigated the pandemic, the war in Ukraine brings a new challenging world event to handle with our kids. 

I’ve compiled some resources on how you may wish to navigate this topic. But the short answer is, with children under 8, you don’t need to bring the issue to their attention. If it does come up, we want to keep it simple and focus on helping them feel heard and safe. 

Ages 0 - 8

• Limit your child’s exposure through news and conversation. Don’t leave the news on, leave newspapers around or have conversations when they are within earshot. Even when we think our kids aren’t paying attention they often are.

• At this age, they are still making sense of concepts such as war and death and can’t always keep reality and fantasy separate. 

How to Talk About It

• If they ask questions, have a conversation. 

• Start by getting curious about what thoughts and feelings they already have, ask questions like, “What have you heard?” or “How do you feel?”

• Keep your answers simple

• Focus on helping them feel heard and safe. “It’s normal to feel scared. Remember you are safe here with me.”

Support unsettled/big feelings through play

• You may notice more play with fighting, war etc. This is a normal way for children to process these concepts and it’s helpful to make space for this.  

• Quality playtime can help your child process and express their big feelings and ultimately feel more safe and calm.

• Games that involve: chasing, catching, lost & found, playful scaring are all great at releasing alarm

Also, children pick up on the stress and anxiety of the people around them. It’s worth being mindful of your own media consumption and what boundaries you need about when and how much news you will access. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember to lean into that quality connection time as a family. The work we do to raise empathetic and responsible humans matters very much.