3 Things That Sooth My Nervous System as a Parent

Many days parenting will strain your nervous system to the absolute edge. Two small children crying at the same time, dirty dishes as far as the eye can see, dinner that needs to be made and jobs with unending demands. Waiting for a proper break is just not an option. Amidst this chaos, I’ve found little moments of spaciousness when I find myself breathing deeper and feeling softer. These are 3 ways I soothe my nervous system day to day.

1. Sharing my interests

   • Moments of digging in the garden, savouring a cup of tea and fancy treat, experimenting with watercolours and art supplies at the table or cooking something up in the kitchen. My children see the reverence with which I approach my interests and it draws them in. Often it only lasts 10-15 minutes but it counts. Those moments when I see my children share my passions, I feel my joy multiply. While it’s much messier in more ways than one, there is a richness in the shared experience that exceeds doing these things on my own.

2. 1:1 time with my children

   • At any given time I’m balancing the needs of two children, my husband, household demands, thinking about work and somewhere on that list tending to myself. It’s no wonder I often feel frazzled. In the moments when I am alone with one of my children and able to give them my undivided attention, I feel a comforting quiet envelope me, like slipping on headphones in a noisy room. The beauty of an easy yes to small requests, of anticipating their needs, delighting in, to follow their lead in play; it all happens effortlessly when nothing competes for my attention. 1:1 time may have started as something I do for my child but it’s quickly become as important to me. I feel a sense of repair for all the times I wasn’t able to meet their needs, allowing me to push the guilt aside and enjoy feelings of peace and contentment.

3. Joyful movement

   • An exuberant kitchen dance party is alchemy in motion. So much can be mended in those few moments as we surrender all our emotions to music. This beautiful ritual naturally finds its way into tricky spots for so many families. The mornings where everything is going sideways and we can’t get out the door? Cue vintage Lady Gaga. Struggling through the ‘arsenic hour’ and feeling like dinner will never happen? Cue Bee Gees. The soundtracks of Frozen 1, Frozen 2, Lion King and Encanto have been a parenting lifeline!

I hope you will invite these moments into your days and savour them when they arrive. Take a breath and celebrate what you’ve accomplished and what you’re doing.

Yes, it’s a struggle, but let’s have some fun while we’re at it!