Making Peace With Our Unmet Goals: Pandemic Parenting 2022
…I’d like my child to sleep through the night
…We need a better morning routine
…I want more quality time with my kids
…I need to night wean
…We have to figure these meltdowns out!
…Tomorrow I WILL keep my cool
…<insert your unfulfilled parenting to-do here!>
Often it seems like that bright shiny future is dangling just out of our reach. If only we could muster up the energy and know-how and make it happen!
Maybe we get as far as trying, and the first attempt is a big flop, leaving us even more defeated than before.
So we eat some ice cream, watch a show, ruminate in guilt and hope somehow tomorrow is different. All the while, we wonder, how is everyone else is doing it?!
After a long series of personal setbacks, I’m sitting here trying to make some sense of it. As a parent and business owner during a pandemic, the obstacles are both surprising and consistent. So, I consider it not a small victory to make it this far with my sanity intact.
The phrase I keep coming back to, that guides me through yet another curveball:
Start with your capacity.
That’s what I come back to again and again.
Answer honestly: what can I handle without compromising my wellbeing and sanity?
When my 3-year-old was home for 2 weeks with a cough that wouldn’t quit I postponed content and stopped checking social media.
When my Grandmother passed we took an extra day off because I needed that space before jumping back into our routines.
And when I got sick, I rested, watched escapism tv without guilt and trusted my energy and focus would return.
Not sure what your capacity is? Listen for the word ‘should’ often a signal this task is one we should pass on.
With the recent wave of closures in Ontario, we all lost a lot of things we wanted. Time with families. Time to ourselves. A sense of normalcy. Careers stalled or even lost. Opportunities gone. Trips cancelled. Projects stopped (again). Plans changed.
I believe when we start by honouring our own capacity, the right opportunities will come to us.
If you are struggling with an unmet parenting goal - please, eat the ice cream, watch the show but ditch the guilt, as much as you can. Give yourself permission to rest, to play and to cry.
If you could use a hand sorting through the expectations and guilt when it comes to parenting - reach out, that’s something I can help with.