Adding a Babysitter to your Village of Support
Growing up in the country, at 13 I was babysitting for all the neighbourhood families. I changed diapers, prepared bottles, handled bedtimes and even wrangled a family of 7! My husband, as a teen, babysat for over a dozen families on his street in north Toronto.
Today, many parents confess no one has ever cared for their children, except for maybe Grandma. It’s not uncommon to hear parents haven’t had a child-free night out in years!
Our modern lives are much more isolated. We don’t have the same connections with our neighbours. It’s unlikely you will ask your IG friend if her teenage daughter is free Saturday evening. (And I won’t even start on how this has all been further impacted by pandemic life.)
But the fact remains that the care of children was not meant to be done by one or two adults. The 24/7 care needed will exhaust even the most organized parent. The help from family, friends or babysitters provides the much-needed support to give our nervous systems a break and an opportunity to replenish. If you’re feeling depleted, finding a trusted babysitter is an option well worth consideration.
If I’ve you’re convinced but still feeling nervous, don’t worry, I’ve got a:
‘go at your own pace’ guide to adding a babysitter to your village!
Assess how ready you are.
If the thought of leaving your child gives you heart palpitations, start slow! Talk through your fears with someone you trust.
If you’re nervous about bedtime don’t start with a night out. Start with a couple of hours in the morning when your child is at their best! Think of it as a long-term investment and work up gradually.
Find the right fit
Paid sites like Canadian Nanny or Care.com can be a great starting place as you can filter candidates by criteria and many have background checks, CPR and first aid training, ECE certification etc. Some also have reviews from other families
Facebook groups or neighbourhood referrals are another great way to find someone
When posting an ad or reaching out, be detailed! Sharing a bit about your child’s interests, personality etc. is a great way to attract the right person
Have a phone conversation and have a few questions ready. When my children were toddlers a couple of questions I found helpful were, “What would you do if my child gets upset when I leave?” or “tell me about one of your most challenging experiences babysitting?”
Getting Started
Prepare your child by telling them about the new sitter. The more they see the babysitter as someone you know and like, the more comfortable they will feel
A short playdate, 30 minutes to 1 hour where you are home is a great way to get started. Give them a tour of the house, your kiddos can help and go over the house rules. Be clear around rules for screentime, meals and snacks and any parts of the hour or items that are off-limits
The first visit
Be prepared before the sitter arrives so you can have a short and positive goodbye. Longer goodbyes tend to be more difficult. It’s okay for your child to be upset, as long as the babysitter is comforting your child it will help to build their relationship!
Make sure your babysitter has your cell number and set expectations around when they should contact you
Keep a good thing going
See your babysitter as an extension of your family! Spend those extra minutes chatting and getting to know them. Always speak positively of them to your children.
Continue to matchmake your child and their sitter by drawing attention to similarities and recalling happy memories.
And that’s it!
I do hope you’ll take the first step in finding a great babysitter and that much-needed addition to your village of support. We’ve been blessed with some amazing babysitters and it’s been so rewarding to see my children build those relationships.
If this step still feels too far out of reach, that’s okay! You can also book a call with me and I will help you create a plan to feel confident about that next step. Remember - you deserve support!