Like a lot of Moms, a big reason for choosing self-employment was the flexibility and the opportunity to spend more time with my kids day to day. It certainly wasn’t for the generous salary and benefits package.
The Fall held promise, my 5 year old was starting in person SK and we were looking for part time childcare for my 3 year old. I was salivating at the prospect of so much time alone in my home and all the projects, courses, content and new clients filling my schedule.
A quick search on Indigo tells me there are over 10951 RESULTS FOR "PARENTING".
Let that sink in.
Because we KNOW all those books are not saying the same thing. Many of these books will in fact contradict each other. Just selecting a book can be an anxiety provoking process!
That being said - a great book can bolster our intuition, provide fresh insight and increase our confidence. If you’re not sure where to start the following books are the ones I love and recommend most often!
This is one of my biggest challenges - and I know I’m not alone. The pressure to squash a meltdown in its tracks, with an audience of family, friends or strangers is intense.
At home you may be a superstar at supporting emotions. But when your 3 year old declares to your inlaws “THIS IS GROSS” and launches a spoonful of granny’s scalloped potatoes at their wall - your best intentions may escape you. Suddenly you’re angry Mom, hands on hips, bellowing “EXCUSE ME! Pick that up Right. Now. Or there will be no dessert!”
Last week was a big week and sharpened my understanding of what it takes to cultivate resilience. After over a year of generally being at home my daughter did a full week of day camp. For my sensitive introvert, this was a big deal! Here’s the good news - she ended up loving it. Pick ups and drop offs were smooth and by Wednesday she asked if she could do more than one week. But there is more to this story.
And so it begins - the search for the perfect bento box, backpack and (thanks COVID) face masks. Parenting forums are filled with questions, “Will someone help my child use the bathroom?” and “Is there a water bottle that’s guaranteed not to leak?” And underneath these endless queries is the question, “Is my child ready for school?”
I’ve listened to parents share variations of these feelings and I’ve nodded along in understanding, because I’ve felt like that as well. And I ached, to offer something that might be helpful beyond solidarity. Because while parenting is hard, I believe we need those moments of connection and joy.
I also believe it’s not that easy. You start the day with the best of intentions, I won’t yell, I’ll play, we will have fun! But then your toddler yells at you for cutting his pancake, you spend 15 minutes in a diaper change standoff, your preschooler tries to kick you when you turn off the tv - and just like that, your frustration boils over onto everyone around you. And it just keeps happening.
How long before my child stops crying at drop off?
When does it get easier?
I can hear my daughter crying as I leave the daycare and it’s excruciating!
When transitioning to daycare, all we are thinking about is how to stop the crying. It’s loud, intense and having to walk away when they are still upset, feels awful. Stopping the crying can become the goal.
“I told you NOT to colour the monkeys!” she screamed.
“Take that off, NOW!”
I was doing colour by numbers with my 4 year old this morning. It’s her current favourite activity to do together. She had specially asked me not to colour the brown monkeys on my page so she could do it. I had completely forgotten.
I took a breath, squashed all my impulses to tell her to calm down, madly try to fix this and otherwise stop the noise, and let her yell a bit more.
