3 Tips For More Rest Tonight

 

I’m breaking down 3 simple things you can do tonight for a more restful night for you and your toddler!

  • If you have a child between 18 months and 5 years

  • If you’re dealing with power struggles, stalling, not staying in bed, never-ending bedtimes and night wakings

I’m confident these 3 steps can save you a LOT of frustration and have tremendous benefits to parenting beyond sleep!

Try these suggestions out tonight and let me know how it goes.

Have a listen… (transcript below)

Sometimes these simple adjustments are all you need.

And sometimes it is more complicated. Make sure you register for my upcoming workshop, Good Nights - A Toddler Sleep Workshop+. I’ll be covering WHY sleep is so challenging for toddlers and HOW you can tackle your challenges and get more rest (without sleep training).

Audio Transcript

Hello Parents!

I know you’re busy and likely tired. So I’ll get right to it - I have 3 tips that you can try tonight for a more restful night for your whole family. If you have a child between 18 months and 5 years with a long or difficult bedtime, or they won’t stay in bed or you’re dealing with night wakings - all these tips are for you. 

These small changes have the potential to make a BIG impact. It may not solve every problem but I know it will get you closer to where you want to be

So lets get started 

Tip #1 - Expectations and mindset

I’ve worked with so many parents who are stressed about achieving a specific bedtime, a certain length of sleep or that they are creating bad habits by lying down with their child. 

You may find it helpful to know that most toddlers go to sleep later, wake more often and sleep less than we think. A recent study of about 500 children showed an average bedtime of 8:50 and total sleep being around 8.5 hours. I have a whole blog with more details. 

But really it’s not about the numbers or the studies. Just take a moment to think about your child, when they typically fall asleep and wake up, whether or not they seem rested and base your expectations around that. 

Which leads us into the mindset. It’s much easier to adjust our mindset when we’ve let go of expectations that don’t suit our situation. And mindset really does matter because our little immature children are counting on us to coregulate. 

As bedtime is the biggest separation of the day, the closer bedtime gets, the more alarmed our children are and their behaviour can get more and more challenging. If we also get more and more frustrated - it becomes very difficult for our kids to get into the calm, peaceful state they need for falling asleep. 

Sometimes just recognizing that our children’s behaviour is motivated by their desire to be close to us can help us be much more empathetic. 

Okay, tip #2 - Frontloading with connection time

So as we just discussed bedtime separation is HARD for kids and that’s because their greatest need is to connect and attach to us. The solution is not more separation but more connection! If you don’t already do this, I highly recommend adding 10 minutes of quality to playtime before starting your bedtime routine! I do want to emphasize quality here, so no distractions or screens. Focus on child lead expressive play! Rough and tumble play can be great here to get some energy and emotion out. 

Ideally, we can even segue our playtime into getting ready for bed so you can play your way through putting on pyjamas and brushing teeth. 

And the final tip #3 - Make space for your own enjoyment! 

I’ll share a little about my routine with my eldest. Because of her temperament, she has a long and later bedtime than her sister. First I should mention my husband and alternate bedtimes with each child which makes it more manageable for both of us. I will actually get ready for bed at the same time so my cozy pjs are on and my face is washed. Then when we get into bed I’m comfy and we read Harry Potter, books that I love reading. So lying in bed, in my cozy pjs cuddling with my daughter, reading a book I love - I don’t mind that! 

If you’re not sure when to start thinking of the 5 senses:

  • Is there something pleasurable to look at in the room like a photo of a fond memory or a plant

  • Wear something comfortable, have a soft blanket, slippers or bring your pillow

  • Add a nice scent with a diffuser 

  • Fill your water bottle with some nice lemon water or put some herbal tea in a travel mug

  • Learn a lullaby you love to sing or maybe make your own *signing can be a very powerful part of the bedtime routine. 

And that’s it. All very manageable changes you can try tonight that I know can shift a long frustrating bedtime into something more enjoyable and also likely shorter. 

Really try to be consistent with these for a few nights to see the impact. Focus on a calm mindset for coregulation, start with play and make space for your own enjoyment. 

You may find this is all you need to get things on track! But of course, you are welcome to attend my workshop at the end of the month where I will go much more in-depth on toddler sleep. There will be lots of time for live questions AND it includes 1 follow-up support email from me so you can ask me your follow-up questions after you’ve had a chance to try things out. Because it’s always more simple in theory and I can help you tailor everything to your unique family.