Parenting in Public

This is one of my biggest challenges - and I know I’m not alone. The pressure to squash a meltdown in its tracks, with an audience of family, friends or strangers is intense.

At home you may be a superstar at supporting emotions. But when your 3 year old declares to your inlaws “THIS IS GROSS” and launches a spoonful of granny’s scalloped potatoes at their wall - your best intentions may escape you. Suddenly you’re angry Mom, hands on hips, bellowing “EXCUSE ME! Pick that up Right. Now. Or there will be no dessert!” 

Yelling? Punishments? Who is this person?

In those intense moments, we often default to these sorts of strategies. So what can we do? 

Keep these points in mind for a better shot at keeping your cool during the next grocery store meltdown! (or we could start a campaign to have the candy removed from checkout?!)

1. Let go of the obedient child myth

Remind yourself of what developmentally appropriate behaviour is at this age. 

Now - LOWER your expectations a little more. When you’re in a new situation with new people your child is already working hard to adapt to the environment and will get frustrated and fall apart more quickly. Setting realistic expectations is the simplistic and most impactful thing we can do.

1. Less is more

It’s easy to forget how quickly our kids tire and get overstimulated. 

Also, remember to a toddler, your attention is their biggest treat! They won’t be disappointed if you don’t complete all 5 activities on your fun filled agenda. 

1. When things fall apart - find a quiet spot

If your child is about to or is in a full meltdown, safely bring them to a quiet spot as quickly as you can. This allows you to focus on connecting with your child and they can maintain their dignity. 

*There’s nothing wrong with using a screen, treat, etc. to get through a tough moment. Just know you’ve only paused and possibly intensified those feelings that need to come out at some point. Sometimes it’s better to try and get home where you can then set a limit (time to put the iPad away) and be ready to welcome all the big feelings! We call these scheduled meltdowns. 

Bonus: Consider putting your phone away or being diligent with your usage. Missing our child's cues for a drink of water or a dropped toy when we are distracted can mean a BIG meltdown instead of a small tantrum.

Alright - now you’re ready for a fun filled weekend (with a reasonable amount of tantrums)!